It's been a couple days, been busy but that's good.  So yes, I'm satisfied.  He emailed me, fed me a bunch of bullshit, we all know it "I'm frustrated, confused, if I was ready to settle down it would be with you or someone like you, blah, blah blah"  No hahahaha I'm just glad i'm not being ignored anymore, I soooooo hate that!  But since I got his email saturday I have had no desire to call him, message him etc.  Yeah, I'm satisfied with that, I know it wasn't me and I know i'm glad i cut my losses before I lost too much.  On another not so light note, I was the victim of a jealous ex-girlfriend.  Not Mr. Wonderful that I have mentioned but my friend Mark.  Just a friend, hanging out with him and his cousin saturday night, fell asleep at his house in his bed but NOTHING happening, I don't need to explain myself but yeah fully clothed.  Next thing I know a crazy psycho comes barging through the door screaming things I don't even want to repeat, slapped Mark and thought she was going to start wailing on me, you see I'm not a fighter, no way!!!! Well to make a long story short, Mark kicked her out and the next morning my passenger side door was messed up!!!  $800 worth of damage to the door alone.  Yeah, I tried to talk nice and work it out but nope, she was mean.  So I pressed charges.  Shes paying for it, she did it!!!!!!  Well yeah, so now in the process of getting that drama going or done or whatever.  Yeah, signed statements the whole she-bang.  I hate it but I don't have $800 to pay for it.  I hate being spitful but I really don't have a choice in this situation, right?  Nope I don't.  Well off to bed....Sweetdreams!!!!

  Broken Hearted maybe not with all the crumbs scattered around, then again maybe there are a lot of crumbs.  What is wrong with me, can somebody tell me?  All I wanted was some of his time.  My God the guy called me a million times a day, text me just as much, we hung out a couple times but I was getting bored with the phone calls and the texts so I started asking him to do stuff, let's go the movies, let's go to the gym lets just hang out a little bit and get to know each other besides talking on the phone for once....DID I DO SOMETHNG WRONG???? all I got was shot down so I called him on it. "Hey" i said, "if you decide you want to do something with me then call" then it was downhill from there.  He's confused, WHAT THE FUCK EVER!!!, he never knows his plans from day to day, is it me?  I feel like I did something wrong.  I think cause I haven't talked to him in 3 days and i'm used to many phone calls and messages thru out the day.  Should I call him, no!  I know what I want and it's not confusion!!!  I don't want to get married, I will never enter that institution again, I don't want to move in with anybody, I like my independence, I don't want his money, I have my own.  What I want is someone, someone who will watch a movie with me on Sunday nights, who when we don't see each other for 3 or 4 days actually wants to see me.  I crave a two-sided conversation, yeah i want to know how his day went but what about my day, i want to tell how my day went.  I love rubbing his back but I want my back rubbed too.  IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT??? All I'm doing now is bitching about what I guess would've been a disastrous relationship if I had let it keep going.  Who knows, it's obvious I don't.  I'm signing off and going to try to get some sleep, it's getting better though.  Goodnight and Sweetdreams!!!

Is today almost over yet?????  Hmmmmm not quite it's only 4pm.  Had a great workout today.  FELT  great!!!! I needed it to get rid of some frustration I've been feeling lately. This man, this guy I talked about before, I want to text him, call him but I won't. Stubborness is a downfall of mine.  I  guess it could be a good thing but still a downfall.  Anyways, laundry is calling, lol yes laundry, I hate it but feels good when it's all done.